I’m sick of people musing about how they’d like to vote for something they could have a beer with, or a shot of whiskey, or go bowling with. How about someone who’s talented at good policymaking?
You Can’t Text Message Break-up!
Kelly, also known as Liam Kyle Sullivan, is simultaneously a symbol of female empowerment and what is wrong with teens’ family relationships in modern American society. Ironic, considering Kelly is portrayed by a thirtysomething guy. Three short films in particular highlight these qualities (in order of my favorites).
Text Message Breakup
Kelly is dumped by her longtime boyfriend – via text message. She then storms into the club where he “broke up” with her and proceeds to make him sorry that he ever dated her in the first place. Guest stars Kelly’s family, who insults her friends, tells her that she’s undateable, and that she’s “cheap.”
Shoes
Kelly’s breakout video, she displays the lengths to which she’d go to buy dozens of pairs of shoes. Kelly “gets what she wants,” despite zero support from her family.
Let Me Borrow That Top
Kelly’s lesbian aunt visits and tells her that “she can do anything.” But Kelly just wants to borrow the neighbor’s new shirt. In order to do so, she crashes the pep rally and homecoming at which the cute, popular neighbor is queen of. All for a top… or all for something else, such as social equality?
Publications vs. Comcast Triple Play
In my household we regrettably pay a ridiculous amount of buxx for television, one because it’s Comcast and two because we pay for premium channels. Rather, the boy pays for it. After Comcast screwed up on our very first bill I swore never to give them a penny of my own money, despite the fact that I’d probably go a little crazy without Internet access. And I think the phone service is totally unnecessary because we have cell phones. The bill is not itemized, so let’s say $30 for the phone and $30 for the Internet (both of which have cheaper alternatives, but le sigh, the boy locked us in for two years) and the remaining $70 for the TV.
$70×12 is $840. How many newspaper and magazine subscriptions could I pay for with that much?
The Wishlist
The New York Times Weekender – $234
Newsweek – $20
Publishers Weekly – $279
Writer’s Digest – $14.95
Rolling Stone – $14.95
Army Times – $54
The New Republic – $59.97
Bead & Button – $25
Vogue – $7.20
Consumer Reports – $15.95
Entertainment Weekly – $19.97
Beadwork – $24.95
The Writer – $19.96
McSweeney’s – $55
Discover – $18.90
The grand total is $843.84. Wow. If only I could cancel my cable.
Ring ring ring ring ring… Hillary phone!
This ad is retarded. For once, I hate the Philadelphia television market because Pennsylvania is the current campaign target and I live on the Jersey side of Philly’s shadow. Fuck Pennsylvania and Hillary’s stupid-ass ads. PA is full of inner-city black people and white hicks who might as well live below the Mason-Dixon line.
Clearly, it’s a reference to her stupid-ass White House days and this mysterious phone call which may or may not have actually occurred. I got that. Big shit. Half the crap that comes out of that woman’s mouth is fictitious anyway. Some people might be worrying about bills into the early hours because they work late or whatever. BUT CREDITORS WORK NINE-TO-FIVE AND WON’T BE CALLING YOUR INDEBTED ASS!
And Hillary won’t be picking up.
Whoa!
I do NOT like the new WordPress dashboard! As if thrown together by some mad Mets fan, the formerly quiet, sedate blues and white of my familiar online toolbox has been reduced to shambles. Quite the smack in the face having returned to my forlorn pages after about a week of no writing. What is this craziness? I have half a mind to forgo adding an RSS feed box to the page and instead abandon the entire thing… but the other half of the mind reminds me of the MySpaceization of the once-simple Xanga from whence I came. I shall adapt.
