On the road again

After ten days in Florida, the land of bipolar weather patterns, I learned a few things: Orlando CAN be complete without trodding on Disney-owned parkland. Southern people really do speak more slowly than someone from New Jersey. And those who create the billboards along Interstate 95 have no idea how to use apostrophes; nor do they know the difference between to, too, and two. Pitiful. I just wish I had photographic proof, but I also learned just how quickly cameras devour batteries.

I fucking love my home state.

Speaking of bipolar weather patterns, we were spared hurricanes whilst half the Northeast flooded this past weekend.

Monosyllables and cute

For the past few days and until Friday my job is to write a daily newsletter for a kids’ camp. Yes, there are people who actually do this stuff, and I am she. I’ve been writing things like how important it is to drink lots of water, and that drugs are bad. It’s a kind of law enforcement-geared camp because of where it’s located. Yeah, lots of cutesy crap.

FUCK. Shitfuck damn.

There, I said it.

EEEEEEpa! EEEEEEEpa!

I watched the Simpsons movie last night.

Lifestyles of the Cheap and Frugal, Part 2

Replacement and/or mixing of foodstuffs.

In my household it is frowned upon when two mutually exclusive items, such as corn flakes and rice krispies, or orange juice and grape juice, or APPLESAUCE and CANNED PEACHES, are mixed together in the serving containers and put back into the general foodstuff population. It is considered rude and disgusting to the person who does not enjoy such a combination, but instead wanted to eat just one of the mixed ingredients.

This practice stills occurs occasionally, in the name of saving cabinet space. YUCK!

A less visible but more palatable food travesty is the ol’ switcheroo: when a small container of a brand-name product never seems to go empty – because it is constantly refilled from a bulk container of the generic brand. Now, don’t get me wrong - Marshmallow Mateys taste just like Lucky Charms. Really! And they’re pirate-themed! But when it comes to something like coffee or liquor, you get what you pay for. Really. A single shot of Grey Goose instantly weaned me off Smirnoff. Try it, unless you can’t afford to pay more than ten dollars for a half gallon of vodka. With the handle built into the bottle.

Monocle cat says pip pip

So much for mixology

Do not mix an ounce and a half of cran-raspberry juice, half an ounce of Captain Morgan, and half an ounce of Myer’s dark rum with an ice cube and a teaspoon of honey. It’s kind of lame and too strong to be tasty.

Edit: Maybe I didn’t eat enough today, but the single ounce of liquor in this little drink is really fucking strong.

Dinosaurs, oh dinosaurs

I’m a dinosaur. For my 21st birthday I asked very nicely for and received from my parents a tape recorder for doing interviews and such. Fifty bucks or thereabouts for an almost totally obsolete technology – I’m very happy for Staples being able to still turn a profit on such things. Look up my anti-Blu-ray rant if you have the time.

Oh, and I didn’t get tanked last night. Maybe I’m just boring.

But it’s my birthday…

I’m 21 today. Woo, now I can do everything I’ve been doing since I was 17 but without getting in trouble as much.

I looked up the tag “military” and the largest secondary tag was “politics.” As a weekend warrior, I find that to be sad. Nobody else’s apolitical job is so politicized.

Moar blogs!
I giggled then sighed (and subscribed on Bloglines)…
…and then raised an eyebrow.

I is hungry

So here’s a lolcat.

A cheapskate’s dream vacation

I spent the past few days driving between Assateague Island and Ocean City, MD. The money I didn’t spend at Starbucks or the gas station went to junk vendors at the boardwalk, thrift stores in Ocean City, and a Goodwill in Delaware on the way back to Jersey. All told, less than two hundred bucks, and about a quarter of that on gas alone.

My friend’s family owns an Airstream and we slept in it during the thunderstorm, and in a tent when the weather calmed down. Assateague is known for its wild ponies:

This one is known as “White Butt” and tends to kick things, including the Airstream.